failure

Perhaps i am just one.
din want to make u cry .

Magnetic field

The discussion, the arguments, the tandrums we both threw.
The playful you, the serious me.
The simple you, complicated me.
The less bothered you, the bothered me.
The like and unlike poles.
Attracts.
Just you and me.

happy 15th months.

I love you . =)

the call

perhaps, the reason why i was angry because you told me that you would call me

within a period of time but you din, to me i just don like it this way. if you are not

sure, u don tell me. i know if i bring out this to you, you would sure say,

next time i just say i call you back later lo. i am no perfectionist. perhaps,

i am just a demanding fuck pea brain. haiz. i knew i love you lots,

thats why i don know what if i did wrong or right, all i know i just don

want any of us hurt as simple as that. but apparently failed.

Sometimes i really wondered what kind of guy i am to you.
Dont you feel loved from me? if i cant be bothered isnt it worst?

For one could be awful,
for one could be great,
for what i know,
i might be unreasonable,
i am changing,
its aint easy,
it all results in unpleasant,
i know it was not rational,
rational dont imply at all times,
i might be not as caring,
but you always been in my heart,
my precious one,
for i love,
i accept,
why,
you knew ,
perhaps you din,
for i know,
i give,
you ask,
to see if works,
for i give,
of compromisation,
for i realise,
pursue matters dont end well,
i let go,
for there is changes,
i adapt,
for wat i feel,
i just want you happy,
i give in all.

i need to let gas off. i just need to cover things for perfectly. i know this transistion periods get over.

recent updates , my back

last sunday went out with baby's family for a buffet at hotel rendezvous , it din had many varieties but overall wasnt bad.
after loading our stomach we decided to take a look around at the museum which had the KANG XI exhibition. We went hunting around and found out it was ACM and so we headed there.
Been sometime i enjoyed museums, i am pretty interested in those exhibits which explains about the religion and all. the KANG xi potrait, the calculator in the past which uses some gear mechanisms. and its not expensive to enter the museum just 8 bucks and u can walk about an hour or so..
after that we head towards suntec and walk around had our dinner and me back to home then back to camp.



could not really get an answer whats with my back.
went to AH yesterday, and doctor insist that i should go for physio first
before MRI scan, wonder why is that so. as he wished then.
oh well i am just a suay nut, who waited more then an hour, just
because the doctor's assistant misplaced my processing sheet of paper,
goodness and i wondered what made me so patiently waiting down there
after seeing so many of them who came later and left earlier.

back

oh welll my back really hurts recently, kinda worried if it is some kidney problem or what shit.

just hope not something too bad. oh well... i wanna finish this year service.... yay .. fast!

Suay

I cant believe i am that suay today.

first two was just my carelessness.
-i din bring back my ezlink card from camp
- i lost my brother's key
- i got a summon of $100 from my baby's place.

well unlucky days are here and lucky days would be ahead isnt it?

just hope the summon can be waived if not this month is really tight month...

goodness, lots of quarrel this month , so i hope all the suayness i got today could make
a better day tmr.

And of course i hope my girl can get into what she wants, u knew i cared right?

if she happen not to get into what she wants, i hope she can get into the uni after working hard.
getting good results and appeal again.

i love my girl . =)

-

-perhaps am just too selfish
- perhaps my expectations were too unreasonable.
- does it make a difference when things are much more clarified?, or perhaps somethings should just remain in the heart to prevent conflict.
- i do not like you to mingle with the group but does it really mean i am unreasonable? i wonder really. to me it is just too much groups to hang out with, perhaps i was wrong. but don even bother thinking another sec more. perhaps less asking less time being piss or whatever it is may put our love to a much happier one.
- perhaps recently i have been neglecting too much or perhaps i took you for granted, always expect things to happen in my way. perhaps i was little too selfish, yes i am sorry about this.
i do really hope you are the one walking down the long years of road ahead. i knew both of us love each other deeply, i knew i wont wanna lose a gf like you, you were all different from all the past. you would listen to me if i say this way, but thats not i tot it should be, cause the way i do things, i hope you understand my rational.... perhaps it was too much of my rational and none of yours, i would want to listen to yours, but you never knew what exactly was it. and this is just you.. and this is just who i loved, the simple thinking bubbly jenny nam i loved and always will.
there were always stupid thouts across my mind when i felt angry and u were too. i knew and really hope all this thots wont happen i will do my utmost to prevent it all.
-perhaps recently i have failed in doing well as a bf.
- It hurts me to see you in tears, in pain, anger and so on, but sometimes i just am angry and sometimes just rushed into conclusion.

-i knew i loved attention from you, perhaps i wasnt getting as much thats why i felt angry sometimes. take the dinner for instance i was still hungry but i wasnt first offered, but instead yeap and thats why i did not want any else. knew this were all stupid little actions.
take the prawning session, knew you were unwell, i wanna take care of you, but you were so engrossed into playing ur game while i was happily getting my first prawn, i wanted to share my joy with you but you were unaffected by the surrounding and cant be bothered with my first prawn. and so i neglected you unintentionally, not knewing u still felt unwell, i tot u were pissed, but to me i tot u just wanna play ur psp, stupid of me, neglecting you, so sad to see u shivering when it rained, but what happen had happened nothing done can be undone. BUT something left undone could be done later on rite? so that thing i needa do is perhaps to change my stupid fuck attitude at times, perhaps i just need to give in more, perhaps all i tot i gave alot, was nothing, perhaps all along why i failed all my past relationship was because i din give enough. I tot i was selfless, yes i am selfless to my frens but now i felt that i am not towards my family and my girl.
or perhaps i just too selfish.