i just feel there is a change.
don like this feeling

er jie's wed

Here again, another sis married. so fast. Now i can feel more for my parents loneliness at home. when i am not around when both sis got married and when my brother goes to ns.

both of them will be at home alone. just hope they quarrel lesser when all of us not around.

well some pics from er jie wed

my girl and i

dajie and husband, chris

pa, ma er jie and husband

xiang, er jie and me

gonna miss those happenings, hahaa kinda emotional when er jie and husband gave their speech. well. er jie weep and dajie too..

Though a very hectic day , was very happy she got herself a good husband.

failure

Perhaps i am just one.
din want to make u cry .

Magnetic field

The discussion, the arguments, the tandrums we both threw.
The playful you, the serious me.
The simple you, complicated me.
The less bothered you, the bothered me.
The like and unlike poles.
Attracts.
Just you and me.

happy 15th months.

I love you . =)

the call

perhaps, the reason why i was angry because you told me that you would call me

within a period of time but you din, to me i just don like it this way. if you are not

sure, u don tell me. i know if i bring out this to you, you would sure say,

next time i just say i call you back later lo. i am no perfectionist. perhaps,

i am just a demanding fuck pea brain. haiz. i knew i love you lots,

thats why i don know what if i did wrong or right, all i know i just don

want any of us hurt as simple as that. but apparently failed.

Sometimes i really wondered what kind of guy i am to you.
Dont you feel loved from me? if i cant be bothered isnt it worst?

For one could be awful,
for one could be great,
for what i know,
i might be unreasonable,
i am changing,
its aint easy,
it all results in unpleasant,
i know it was not rational,
rational dont imply at all times,
i might be not as caring,
but you always been in my heart,
my precious one,
for i love,
i accept,
why,
you knew ,
perhaps you din,
for i know,
i give,
you ask,
to see if works,
for i give,
of compromisation,
for i realise,
pursue matters dont end well,
i let go,
for there is changes,
i adapt,
for wat i feel,
i just want you happy,
i give in all.

i need to let gas off. i just need to cover things for perfectly. i know this transistion periods get over.

recent updates , my back

last sunday went out with baby's family for a buffet at hotel rendezvous , it din had many varieties but overall wasnt bad.
after loading our stomach we decided to take a look around at the museum which had the KANG XI exhibition. We went hunting around and found out it was ACM and so we headed there.
Been sometime i enjoyed museums, i am pretty interested in those exhibits which explains about the religion and all. the KANG xi potrait, the calculator in the past which uses some gear mechanisms. and its not expensive to enter the museum just 8 bucks and u can walk about an hour or so..
after that we head towards suntec and walk around had our dinner and me back to home then back to camp.



could not really get an answer whats with my back.
went to AH yesterday, and doctor insist that i should go for physio first
before MRI scan, wonder why is that so. as he wished then.
oh well i am just a suay nut, who waited more then an hour, just
because the doctor's assistant misplaced my processing sheet of paper,
goodness and i wondered what made me so patiently waiting down there
after seeing so many of them who came later and left earlier.

back

oh welll my back really hurts recently, kinda worried if it is some kidney problem or what shit.

just hope not something too bad. oh well... i wanna finish this year service.... yay .. fast!

Suay

I cant believe i am that suay today.

first two was just my carelessness.
-i din bring back my ezlink card from camp
- i lost my brother's key
- i got a summon of $100 from my baby's place.

well unlucky days are here and lucky days would be ahead isnt it?

just hope the summon can be waived if not this month is really tight month...

goodness, lots of quarrel this month , so i hope all the suayness i got today could make
a better day tmr.

And of course i hope my girl can get into what she wants, u knew i cared right?

if she happen not to get into what she wants, i hope she can get into the uni after working hard.
getting good results and appeal again.

i love my girl . =)

-

-perhaps am just too selfish
- perhaps my expectations were too unreasonable.
- does it make a difference when things are much more clarified?, or perhaps somethings should just remain in the heart to prevent conflict.
- i do not like you to mingle with the group but does it really mean i am unreasonable? i wonder really. to me it is just too much groups to hang out with, perhaps i was wrong. but don even bother thinking another sec more. perhaps less asking less time being piss or whatever it is may put our love to a much happier one.
- perhaps recently i have been neglecting too much or perhaps i took you for granted, always expect things to happen in my way. perhaps i was little too selfish, yes i am sorry about this.
i do really hope you are the one walking down the long years of road ahead. i knew both of us love each other deeply, i knew i wont wanna lose a gf like you, you were all different from all the past. you would listen to me if i say this way, but thats not i tot it should be, cause the way i do things, i hope you understand my rational.... perhaps it was too much of my rational and none of yours, i would want to listen to yours, but you never knew what exactly was it. and this is just you.. and this is just who i loved, the simple thinking bubbly jenny nam i loved and always will.
there were always stupid thouts across my mind when i felt angry and u were too. i knew and really hope all this thots wont happen i will do my utmost to prevent it all.
-perhaps recently i have failed in doing well as a bf.
- It hurts me to see you in tears, in pain, anger and so on, but sometimes i just am angry and sometimes just rushed into conclusion.

-i knew i loved attention from you, perhaps i wasnt getting as much thats why i felt angry sometimes. take the dinner for instance i was still hungry but i wasnt first offered, but instead yeap and thats why i did not want any else. knew this were all stupid little actions.
take the prawning session, knew you were unwell, i wanna take care of you, but you were so engrossed into playing ur game while i was happily getting my first prawn, i wanted to share my joy with you but you were unaffected by the surrounding and cant be bothered with my first prawn. and so i neglected you unintentionally, not knewing u still felt unwell, i tot u were pissed, but to me i tot u just wanna play ur psp, stupid of me, neglecting you, so sad to see u shivering when it rained, but what happen had happened nothing done can be undone. BUT something left undone could be done later on rite? so that thing i needa do is perhaps to change my stupid fuck attitude at times, perhaps i just need to give in more, perhaps all i tot i gave alot, was nothing, perhaps all along why i failed all my past relationship was because i din give enough. I tot i was selfless, yes i am selfless to my frens but now i felt that i am not towards my family and my girl.
or perhaps i just too selfish.

realise

nothing goes into ur head, happens again and again. shit

what

things not been very nice recently, cannot really control my temper recently. perhaps too
much slacking. lol perhaps it was very normal of me to be too bothered about those late nitez.
oh well, there are always a reason for me to be unhappy but it always take sometime for me
to realise the actual reason and perhaps i wasnt rite. i don like the feeling recently, i dont noe
why. i just feel that, do i always have to be in this situations? i dont want history to repeat
i tot i have been pretty lax on such issues already. No one wants to be a control station, cause
its pretty tiring and pointless. As all of us know even there is a control, there will always be
one or two that happens the other way round. oh well. so WHAt exactly can i do ?

By chance, fate

I believe alot of things is by chance.
Recently came back from training and posted to a new environment. everything seems pretty well till my final destination of the next 14 months was fixed. I would be going thru more
training for the specific tool. oh well i suck it up. HAha. i do believe when something good
happens there will be one that is not so good to balance it. Begining to accept the fact.

oh well not to talk about all these.

I had a simple day yet memorable day !! with my dear for a year anniversary. time passes real fast. i thank you
for being by side whenever u could. whenever i complained, whenever i was sick, whenever,
i need your ears, whenever whenever whenever..... yes.. i believed u will always be there whenever.... i do really hope that continues.. and pretty confident it will.

the cycling , the eating, the nonsense, the whatever siao stuff . I truely enjoyed myself .

The trust, the love, the care, we will always give. =)

thanks babi nam.

xuan zhuan char siew bao! okay bye!

One year

I cant wait to come back from overseas. which is like just another one month . i am very sure time will pass damn fast or rather i hope it will. Coming back from training , just another four days to pop and another 3 more days would be one year for us.

Time passes real fast, thinking back of the times we spent together and the things we gone thru . Thanks for supporting me whenever i am down and always try ur best to give in to me whenever i am tired and show u faces. Though i always say there is no need to say thanks between us, this time around i would really want to thank you. I truly appreciate every single thing that you did for me, i would bear in mind and never take it for granted. There is no one to replace you. I promised. to take care and love you always LOL.

OKay bye

don ever try too hard

don ever try too hard to be funny pals.

2009

Wow! almost one month passed in 2009
Not very optimistic about this new year with so many happenings around the world.
economic crisis.
natural disasters.
Can this be a good year ahead!? lets hope for the best. lets hope our country can hold on well
and everything would be good ahead this year. Lets have something good to hope for.
Lets pray hard.
Going overseas in another odd week's time for training. Do not want to have much conflict.
hope everyone have good health awaiting for me . haha